Why I Love My Students - Reason #512:

Today, one of my students came up to my desk looking to pass in his assignment. In one hand he was carrying a folded up piece of paper. When I asked him what was drawn on the paper, he showed me this line drawing he had made of a chubby little duckling. As it had nothing to do with the class assignment (although I am a high school art teacher...so it wasn't entirely out of my curricular area), I asked him what the drawing was for. His response:

"I googled 'cute'. and that was the first thing to come up. So I decided to draw it."

So I tried to google "cute" in hopes of finding the image to share with you. That image is no longer the first image to appear...but this one is pretty damn cute, too...

Almost as awesome as Limecat....almost.

I Love You (in Handcuffs)

I'm constantly amazed by what people out there create in their spare time. Recently, a friend of mine posted some impressive "Law & Order" inspired embroidery.

Which got me thinking.

What else does the nation's longest running legal drama franchise inspire (aside from some very questionable fanfiction)?

I got this:



Dun Dun

In Retribution

I'm not a good blogger. I make no pretenses. I work full time, have two kids, and prefer to zone out reading crappy books, watching crappy television, or playing crappy kiddy games with my progeny.

But I never, ever let my sister get the last word.

So, I googled.

"JenJen smells"

Yeah, I did.

When you do that, the first thing that comes up is a facebook status: "JenJen smells like big foots doodle hairs."

Now, I can only assume that JenJen's punctuation and grammar skills are as finely honed as her personal hygiene. So, I'll let you imagine the subtleties of that and leave you with this haunting, corresponding image (i.e. what pops up first when you type it into the google machine):

I Am Not Making This Up

The first image to appear when I searched for "lauren is a slacker" this morning (make sure you have the quotes if you're trying this at home):

Lauren Fidler...you are my density...I mean...destiny.

Paula Deen Googles Twinkies

Even celebrities google things they shouldn't google...

My Step-Father Looks Just Like David Bowie

So I've got a teaching intern presenting his own lesson plan this week, and since he's running the show, I'm playing the part of student. The assignment: a musically-inspired image incorporating song title and artist. My song: Distopian Dream Girl by Built to Spill. As part of my research, I did a google search for image inspiration. How surprised was I when I ran into this gem while searching for "distopian dream girl"...

This GIF is even more enjoyable
when viewed while listening to B2S.

A Dadaist Approach #1

I haven't encountered any decent "why did I google that" moments in the past few days, so I decided to try new approach: open up a dictionary and point to a random word.

Today's randomly selected word: intestine

My Favorite Image Search Result for Intestine

Wil Wheaton Blows Up My Googleverse

I just googled "Things I Don't Get" in hopes that somewhere out there in the midst of the googleverse someone else was feeling the same ennui/misanthropy/etc. that I currently am.

Instead, I got this:

You can't even make that shit up.

Then, when I decided to google this blog title to see if google will bring me to this site, I got Wil Wheaton's and Felicia Day's Google+ accounts.

What???

There is some sort of global google conspiracy out there to unite these two in googlematrimony.

I'm sure of it.

I Blame My Friends

Last night, my friends and I played our new favorite game...Telestrations. For those of you unfamiliar with the game, just imagine if the games Pictionary and Telephone had a baby. (Yes...Telephone...that game where you whisper in each other ears and what was said to the first person may or may not be what the last person says.)

Well, one round last night involved the phrase "surprise party" (which, oddly enough, was a phrase we had the last time we played this game, also resulting in insanely disturbing imagery), and the first person drew someone with their hands on their face making a "surprised" face. You know what I'm saying here, right? Of course the character with the surprised look on his face was interpreted by the next person as none other than...you've got it...

Macauley Culkin. And although the phrase "surprise party" did not make it very far down the chain, that same image of Macauley Culkin putting the aftershave on his face did.

So that got me thinking...would Google also immediately think of that iconic moment in Home Alone when anyone typed "Macaulay Culkin" into its search field? Would that image be found in the majority of its search results? Of course, I had to try it out:

Macaulay Culkin Search Experiment #1
Click on image for larger view.

Clearly, Google would not have done well
in our game of Telestrations last night.